Creative

Today is going to be an interesting day, mostly in the productive, boring manner, but I'm not going to write too much about that since I'm actually vlogging today. Yes, the vlogs are back, but I don't know just how much I'm going to be doing them since I am still coming out of the dark, whiny hole I spent the past few weeks in (see my last post for a few more details). While I have been feeling better overall, I still haven't been in a spot where I felt there was something I really wanted to share online, because nothing too interesting has happened.
When I have a bad day, I don't get overly emotional or anything like that, it's much more lika complete emotional shutdown. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to see anyone, or talk to anyone, and I don't really feel anything. That's what the past days have been like, and I don't really know why, except the reason I have already mentioned on here.
However, I feel like I am back in a creative way now. I wrote about 2000 words last night on a project I'm doing just for me, and it felt really good. I'm hoping this was a sign that I might be back in other ways too, but only time will tell I guess.
I do, however, have friends coming over later today, and I feel really good about that. Chatting with my girlfriends are something I really appreciate, especially since I'm a really talkative p
erson (on days I feel good). I actually have a lot of socializing coming up, and I feel really excited. Both tomorrow and Friday are filled with social activities that will force me to get out of the apartment. Being around people I like always makes me feel better. And what's more, it gets my creativity flowing again, which is something I really need right now.

I'm Back

   I've been gone for quite a while, two whole weeks, and I don't really know how I'm supposed to explain why. The reason being, this is completely new to me, something I haven't really lived through before.
   I've been depressed before, I've felt down before, but for the first time in my life I find myself in a place where I don't know what to do. And this is not like "Oh, I don't know what to do today", because that's really never been a problem. This is "I don't know what to do with my existance on this planet."
   And for me, that's really weird. You all know my bucketlist. You'd think someone with that many goals, would know what they're doing with their life, and where they want to get, right? Well, you'd be wrong. The past weeks I've been feeling very lost, like nothing in my life really mattered, and like my goals and aspirations didn't really matter. That's a very scary place to be in, and I spent two weeks there. I've never felt like that before. Sadness and emptiness are pretty much commonplace for a person like me, but not having direction is new and scary, and for two weeks I've felt paralyzed by that.
   I'm better now, but I'm still not sure about a lot of things in my life, but the large things have always remained the same: I'm determined to be a writer, and I'm grateful for and happy about my relationship with the person I live with, and where we are at right now. The big dreams are the same, it's just that I don't know how to get to them.
   I feel better now, but the thoughts are still there. I'm no longer paralysed by the fears I have, but they are still left inside my brain, rattling around in there. But, I'm workin on it, day by day. I've decided to take on one issue every day, adress it in my brain and figure it out, more of a step by step process isntead of freezing up and thinking about everything at once.
   If you're feeling the same way right now, that your life doesn't really have direction, know that that changes. You're not going to feel lost forever. Some day, you're going to wake up and realise you know exactly what to do, what your goals are and how to reach them. It might not be today, or even tomorrow, or even two weeks from now. But it happened for me, and it's going to happen for you to. Have faith in yourself, and have patience. You've got this.

I'm Not A Good Person?

From Fooducate

   I'm often concerned about not being a good person. I think things I should never think, and I know a lot of other people do the same. About people you meet on the street, about people you see on a daily basis ( "What is she wearing?" "Why is her hair like that?" "Why would he wear that cologne?"). But there's something very important you need to understand about this, something that it took me a very long time to realize.
   It's not what you think first that matters, it's what you think second. If you walk around judging people, and you don't think twice about it: you are really a bad person. But if your second thought is something along the lines of "What? She gets to wear what she wants!" "She probably likes having her hair like that." "Maybe his girlfriend bought it for him because she likes the smell", good news: you're not a bad person.
   What we first think about people is often the things we've been conditioned to think. Media often pegs people against eachother, and we're made to think less of others based on shallow things, like their clothes, hair and other things that can be bought, because if we haven't seen commercials about it, and it's expensive as heck, it's clearly not worth it.
   Know that the initial thought you have (and wether you express your first thought or not) doesn't reflect the kind of person you are. It's the thing you think after defines you, if you regret being judgemental without real cause, you're a great person. If you walk around judging people and talking down to them, you have a serious problem and should probably reflect on that.
   What matters is how you treat people, and if you reflect on yourself for those judgemental things you think or say and regret it afterwards. What makes you a good person is being willing to work on yourself, constantly. Being a good person means you have to be able to change, work on the way you view people, media, news and the world. Work on the way you walk, talk and think, and it never stops.
   You're never finished as a person, no matter what you acheive and what you do with your life, you always have something to improve on. The way you speak to other people and the way you speak to yourself should be connected, be kind to everyone around you, including the person in the mirror. You have every right and every reason to improve the way you think, and critiquing the way you think about people is a great way to start.
   Think about the way you speak and think, think nothing about other people without knowing. Let them make their own choices, just like you make yours every day.

Home

   I'm finally home! After a lot of planning to make it possible, and a four hour long train trip, I'm at mom and dad's place. I'm going to be staying at my parents house over the weekend, spending some time with family. I honestly didn't have time to travel (I have tons of stuff to do at the moment) but better to travel now than during exams week. I'm in the middle of deadlines, catching up on the stuff I missed when I was sick, and a ton of other things that should get done, but it's still better to travel now than when I'm in the middle of my exams, powering through on too little sleep and too much caffeine.
   So far I haven't done much around here. I just got back from a small trip to the grocery store with my mom (let me tell you, the center has changed a lot since I moved out!), where I got some snacks for myself, since I still have to do some working/studying while I'm here. It's very hard to get the entire weekend off, but if you're also a student you probably know that.
   I've also played Monopoly with my mom and Erik, my younger brother. I've really missed playing games with my family, we're all quite competitive and the playing tends to become quite passionate and energetic, which is always nice.
   This morning I also enjoyed a short walk in the forest, fall is really here! I saw so many pretty mushrooms it was hard not to take pictures of all of them, but this particular one is my favourite. I really think I should get in more walks/hiking in the forest or otherwise outdoors and outside of the city, because it makes me feel really good.
   I'm still a bit sick, but it's mostly coughing and a sore throat left. I'm hoping to be well by Monday so that I can attend classes as usual the incoming week, my attendance has been spotty lately due to dying of fever and headaches. I'm however not contageous anymore, and I'm feeling good enough to actually stay active throughout the day, though I'm usually exhausted in the evenings.
Greetings from the countryside!

Date Night

   So, yesterday we had our monthly date night. Due to me being insanely busy, and us being on a budget after all, we have a date night once a month instead of the usual every week, an arrangement both of us are very happy with. This date night happens every 18th, and yesterday Theo decided to surprise me with a date at Trattoria Romana, an insanely nice Italian place just down the street from our place.
   While there, I had a amazig Frutti Di Mare pasta, which was both delicious and looked fabulous. I honestly think I'll try it more times, which is a strong compliment considering I'm usually pretty sceptical when it comes to new food, even if I love to try new things. I very rarely find new favorites, but this one was really great.
   We've been together for one year and four months now, which is closing in on the longest relationship I have ever had, and I have never been happier spending that much time with anyone. I think we're a really good fit, and that we work very well together. We are eachother's opposites, but in a very good way. I'm the dreamer, he keeps me grounded and logical. I have all the dreams and the plans, he has the logical way of making all of them work and figuring out all the details to make my head in the clouds dreaming real and acheivable. He makes me take one step at a time when I'm tempted to run without knowing what I might run into.
   I never thought I'd actually find someone who completes me in this way, and I'm slowly starting to realise what people mean with when they call someone "the yin to my yang", because I finally feel like I'm in balance, like something within me that's been missing has been restored. To all of those who spend every day loving someone else unconditionally, I now understand how you can love someone without judgement, scrutiny or pre-structured conditions.
   The person life gives you to spend your time on this globe with is not going to be the person you always imagined. They're going to be so much more than that.

Life Update

   I hope you enjoyed this video, and that you liked Estelle's little guest appearance! Remember to subscribe to my channel by clicking here!

A Weight/Health Update

   So as most of you know by now, if you follow this blog at all, one of the goals I set for myself this year is to start eating healthier, exercising more and to join a gym. All in all: a healthier lifestyle for me. And I can very proudly say that I've gotten some great progress on those goals as of late!
   I have actually managed to loose weight these past few weeks, 1kg to be exact. And I know that's not a lot, or particularly impressive, but since loosing weight is just part of my goal, it makes me really happy. Last week, I paid the fee for the campus gym, for the entire year, and I've gone there once so far (next gym session this Wednesday), and it went surprisingly well. I really like it, although it's pretty small and somewhat crowded.
   I'm also proud to announce that I have gone running in the past week, I started my day today with a yoga/stretching session to let my muscles rest a bit, and I've even planned some swimming into my schedule for the upcoming month, along with more time at the gym and more running.
   I am honestly so proud of myself for this. I've never been the type of person to enjoy exercise very much, except very particular types (horseback riding and walking), and now I find myself having broadened my horizons enough to like things I never though I would, all while treating my body better and feeling a lot better.
   I find myself having more energy, it being easier to get up in the morning, and even yesterday (when Theo was sadly sick with a fever and coughing), I enjoyed working out despite being on my feet taking care of both him, the kitten and all the other things I was supposed to be doing. I have always heard that exercising makes you more energized, but I honestly never thought it could make this much of a difference.
   And to finish this little update, if any of you are wondering about specifik goals regarding my fitness, here's what I have so far:
1. Lose another 8 kilos, which will take me down to the weight I was before I gained weight last year
2. Be able to run 3km without having to start walking as a break
3. Feel happier and more energized throughout the day (acheived)
4. Gain more muscles in my arms, abs and legs

What To Do With Your Life

   Now I'm known for sharing little bits and pieces of the knowledge I've collected during the past 21 years, and here's another piece of that knowledge.
   It took me many many years to figure this out, but it's completely fine to not have everything figured out, to not always know the final step to every action you're doing, just figuring it out from day to day it's perfectly fine. And to be completely honest, it's a really confusing world, and no one really knows what they're doing. There are tons of adults still figuring themselves out, even though we were told our adolescence should be that time in our lives. And being an adult, or a student, or a teenager who hasn't figured out yourself, your life or your future is actually really normal and common.
   People often put on a brave face and pretend to know what they're doing, but I'm here to tell you, that most probably they have absolutely no idea. We're all just out here, winging it. And while that is also scary, I think it's beautiful. We're a planet filled with morons who can't decide what we want to do in life, what we believe in or what we want for ourselves, and that's kind of awesome and hilarious at the same time.
   Just because someone close to you seems to have their life together, accomplishing their goals and doing great, doesn't mean that you are somehow worse because your life hasn't been pieced together yet. You just need to find the right pieces and start building. Just like everyone learns at their own pace, runs their own pace, we also find ourself in a pace that is completely unique, which is why you shouldn't compare yourself to others.
   If you're at a place in life right now, where nothing is making sense, you're confused and seeing other people who seem to know what they're doing; trust me when I say they're probably still confused about a lot of things no matter how perfect their lives seem, and some days, you are that person to someone else, even if you don't feel like it. Trust in yourself, and know that there will be a day where you wonder why you were ever worried.

New Schedule and Working Out Again

   I'm finally piecing my schedule together piece by piece over here, and it's soon all falling into place. I'll be having 3 8 a.m. mornings per week, which is something that I used to hate before going to Husö (where we got up early every single day of the course), but now that I'm used to it I'm actually more open to getting up early, and more of a morning person, how great is that? However, I am confident I'll still look like a trash can (credit to @adamtots on instagram) in the mornings, so if you have classes with me, don't have too high expectations!
   I also registered for the gym, and I'll be getting my gym tag (needed to unlock the door to the gym) tomorrow after my lectures, picking up my ticket for the street festival and going to the doctor's office (don't worry, it's just a checkup, nothing bad). I also went for a run today, for the first time in what feels like forever. It went surprisingly well, I had an average speed of 8,5 km/hour. It really feels great to feel good enough to exercise again, since my mind/stress/body hasn't really allowed me to in a very long time, which is why I'm surprised that I was able to go running at all, and the fact that it went so well was both motivating and a nice surprise to finish an otherwise active day (I walked/ran 10 km altogheter today!).
   Today also marks the third day in a row that I've worked out: a 30 minute home workout with situps and other simple exercises on Saturday, biking 11 kilometres Sunday and then running today. Today was easy though, just 1.5 kilometres.
   But being back into working out feels great, and don't worry, I'll make sure to take enough time to rest inbetween. I honestly can't wait to see the results of this!

My Best Tips For Those Attending/Starting School!

   New video is up! This time it's about the important things to think about when you're attending school. Now, this video is mostly for those attending university or college, but most tips also apply to high school students. Take care, and remember to subscribe by clicking here!

An Update on Estelle

   Our little girl is growing like crazy, she's getting so big (actually, she's still smaller than most almost 4 month old kittens are, but she is growing very quickly). And look at her adorable little face, it's the favorite little face of all my friends at the wine night I hosted yesterday (which was an absolute success, I'll tell you more about that later though).
   But the biggest change in her life the past few days has been the fact that she's gotten to be outside. We finally consider her big enough to go outside with her leash, and she loves the big outside world she now gets to be a part of! Instead of panicking and just laying down whenever we leave the apartment, she actually trots around, smelling leaves and studying her environment, and we're so proud of her!
   However, since she now knows what it's like to be outside, she pretty much only wants to play and be outside all the time. However, she does get to be outside several times a day, and seems pretty satisfied with that.
   She also has yet to grasp the concept of the leash, and often seems to forget that she has it, trying to sprint away before she notices that she can only move as fast as we are, but she's quickly getting better at using the leash as an actual leash. Estelle is actually very comfortable with it though, which was a pleasant surprise when we went outside the first time, and since we both enjoy taking her outside for her tiny walks, she has plenty of outside time to look forward to.
   As for now, Estelle is playing in the apartment with a tiny, pink football Theo got her as a gift when they moved back here in autumn (she loves it, it's a personal favorite toy of hers), rolling around her on the floor with it. Having a pet again is such a joy, I can't believe I used to live without a pet before, and now I can't imagine doing it again. Estelle is such a huge part of our lives now, I don't think we could imagine our lives without her.

A Change in Design (And Life in General)

   So, as you know by reading the headline (and also clicking onto this page in general, if you've been here before) I've decided to do some re-branding. I've changed the blog name to something that suits me better now, since the old name was close to ten years old, decided to put my actual name as the author, and made some changes in color and background. This will also be true for my other social medias, because I've decided to step it up a notch.
   I'm tired of always giving 50%, when I both should and could give 100. I feel so foolish, always walking around in the same circles, getting more and more rooted in boring habits. So guess what, we're taking every opportunity life throws at us and we are not going to let go. We're going all in, and we're not going to give in, not this time.
   I want change, and to be really honest with you, I need change. I need something in my life to be different, and frankly almost anything would do by now, because I'm bored as hell over here. I feel like I could do better in so many ways, regarding so many things, but I don't, and that has to change now for me to be able to keep my sanity.
   But as for the blog, the changes will be as you see them now, small changes in design and the changes in the names, and of course, a more frequent posting from my side. I still have a few small things to change, like profile pictures and so on, but as for now, this is it.
   I honestly feel really great about this change, like I'm turning a page in a very important, intricate book, knowing the next chapter will be better than the one I just finished reading.

Young People Don't Know Anything

   I found this tweet recently, and I can't help but think about how perfectly this captures something I've been thinking about and been bothered by for years. The older generations tend to claim that the younger ones never care about something important, but once they actually do, their opinions and thoughts get dismissed siply by calling them "young and dumb" because they don't agree with the older generation.
   As young people, we are expected to know what we want to do with our lives by 15 (and latest by 15), but if we realize we're gay, we suddenly don't know what we're talking about, because we are too young to know. When we find our view on politics, we're dismissed because we're too young to know. When we start realizing the patriarchy, racism, the views on other religions other than our own are huge problems, we are dismissed because we're too young to know what we're talking about.
   To expect a child, because that's what teenagers beneath 18 are, still children, to choose something, and claim you support them, but turn around the second that choice doesn't support your views, then you shouldn't be a parent, especially if it's something that isn't a choice. Your gay son doesn't choose to be gay, your atheist daughter doesn't choose to not be catholic. It's something they feel in their heart, so it's not really their choice. If they choose to support equality, religious freedom, other sexualities, it's not to defy you, and to be honest, if you're a parent, an idol, grandparent or whatever: you honestly shouldn't care about what they choose to support. Just because something doesn't match your world views, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
   If you expect your child to choose a career, a school, a place to live and an apartment, but when they choose their own beliefs, you shun them, I honestly think you're a shitty parent. You can't tell your child to be whatever they want to be, and then when they do, turn around and make them feel bad about. You are your childs first view of the adult world. Make a good impression.

Husö

I'm finally back home, and figured this would be the perfect time to upload this. Remember to subscribe to my channel, click here to do so!

I'm Home

Theo surprised with wine, flowers etc. when I got home

   After spending two weeks on an island, I'm finally home. I can sleep in my own bed, eat when I want to, and go outside when I want to. It feels amazing to be back, and tonight I had the best sleep I've had in months. Estelle is driving us crazy, as usual. If I had only half of her energy, I'd write a lot more blogposts, I'll tell you that much.
   Though I told myself that when I got back, I'd be able to take it easy and bum around for about a week before school starts, I realize that this is not the case. Already today there's been grocery shopping, laundry, paying bills, registering for school and planning my classes for the first two months. And for the rest of the day there's a lot more to do: unpack, reading emails (all three different accounts), editing the Husö vlog, and doing more laundry before I'm satisfied.
   But I am, despite the work already forming, really happy to be back. I feel so motivated to get started with my studies again, and really give it my all this year, and not to mention all the things I'm doing/planning that aren't school related, such as projects for the blog, being part of different projects for the students at ÅA, and a bunch of other things. I can't wait to get this show on the road again!

I got back to my cactus doing this... Used to be the size of the right one

   Spending two weeks on Åland was a great experience, something I'll never forget, and I've found a lot of new friends, shaped new bonds and formed a lot of nice memories, not to mention learned a lot, during my time there, but it was really intense and a part of me is really happy that it's over. It was a once in a lifetime experience, but I'm honestly kind of happy I don't have to go through it again. Intense is good, but in small doses.
   For now, I'm going to enjoy life on my couch and edit together a video showing all the things we did/saw/studied during those two weeks, enjoy some candy and listen to some nice music.
It's great to be back!

I'm Living On an Island for 2 Weeks!

Sunset from Monday's walk

   Okay, so here's whats going on. A mandatory part of my degree is spending two weeks worth of time at a research facility in the Åland Islands. When I got here, I was really insecure about the whole thing, because I would be spending time with people I didn't know very well, have very little alone/free time, which is very important to me, and be away from Theo and Estelle for all of that time before seeing them again. Though, it wasn't all bad. I was also excited, because I viewed it like a great way to kick off the school year, a great place to spend all that time and knew the surroundings would be beautiful (that part was right, I've taken an insane amount of nature pictures!).
   We got here Monday, after spending the majority of the day on the boat which would take us to Mariehamn. The boat trip wasn't very interesting in it self, but I did get to see the class I'm spending these two weeks with, and they were all really nice to me. We had coffee, ate lunch on the boat and bought some candy to help us survive the intense class. When arriving at Husö, the place we're staying at, we were greeted by scientists in our field and took a short tour of all the building. We learned that this is a place for research as well as somewhere people come to write their doctoral thesis, and the surroundings and buildings were gorgeous. I paired up with the only person I knew well, since living space is always shared for those taking a class, and she turned out to be a delight to live with, so that worked out for the best. We had a short lecture and after taking a walk, I tumbled into bed, completely exhausted, something I soon would learn seemed to be the standard.
   Tuesday was spent travelling to different lakes and collecting samples of insects and plant life before heading back to the lab where they all were identified, something that would take a lot of time and prove to be both difficult and very interesting. I very much enjoyed it, and we even had our lunch out in the field, something I think I'm going to remember for a long time, since both the view and the company was so nice.

The Yellow House, where we eat breakfast

   Wednesday was pretty much the same as Tuesday, but with another lake in place of the three from before. We also created a powerpoint for our findings and figured out what species they were, took water samples and then actually got some free time in the evening, since we had been working faster than expected. Free time is pretty rare here, so it was appreciated among all of us, and we spent it playing volleyball, watching the Red Dragon, and just in general chatting up some storms.

Picture from the lake we visited yesterday

   I really like being here. I miss Theo and Estelle a lot, but mostly I'm too busy to think about anything but work, which is actually a huge relief. I also quite like the group and everything else coming with the course, and somehow it's weird to think that this is already the fourth day. I only wish I had a little bit more alone time.
   Spare time is also a bit sparse due to us having a really packed schedule. During the day, there's almost always a visit to a lake/other system planned, and then during afternoons/evenings we study species and have lectures, while planning tomorrows travels. During the day, we're lucky if we manage to have one our of free time, which is then (at least for me) spent studying for the exam we have at the end of this course. All in all, during the entire day, about four hours of time are put into our exercise, studies for the exam, showers/naps and such, and of course socializing with the others. No wonder you plummet into your bed at the end of the day, falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow!
   However, being here is great. I'm learning so so much, and I'm getting to know really kind, interesting people from all over the country, which is always a fascinating experience. I'll update you more later, for now I have to head out for lunch!

Haparanda

   Since yesterday was the last day everyone was free before my dad goes back to work and me and my siblings go back to school, we decided to take a short family trip to Haparanda. Considering it's in another country, it's surprisingly close to our place, and driving only took 4-5 hours (it's hard for me to tell since I fell heavily asleep during the drive back). I was really happy to be able to come with, since my working hours are so weird, and my days off don't match the norm, it was a very pleasant surprise for me to be able to come along. My family isn't that much into travel either, so once they do go somewhere, they prefer it if we all go at once.
   Once in Sweden, we really didn't do much. Since we go to Haparanda quite a lot, we have a bit of usual stuff we often do. We go to IKEA, and then we go for hamburgers at Max (which we've done about 2-3 times). We also visited a fishing store, since my dad and brother wanted some gear and I was searching for something for my upcoming class, which I didn't find ( I found it today however, when shopping with mom and dad in Kokkola). Most of the time was actually spent in IKEA, which I didn't mind. I actually love walking around, looking at the little displays of rooms, because I love to imagine what it would be like to live in apartments looking like that, or what it would be like to have a livingroom/kitchen/bedroom that looks the way theirs do. However, I didn't do any shopping there, since I prefer to buy furniture and things closer to home, and we happen to have an IKEA about 7km away from our apartment.
   We also visited a candy store, which was huge. That's where I got the candy in the lower pictures (nerds, and Renskit, which literally translates to "raindeer droppings", which is despite the name quite a delicious candy).
   I had a lot of fun there, and was especially surprised when I woke up this morning and realized I had slept very well, about six hours according to my watch, something that made making it to work today a lot easier. Needless to say, these past four days have been crazy intense, and I look forward to life calming down a few days before I have to start thinking about packing up my stuff and leaving (yes, I'm going back to Åbo next week's Sunday, sleep there for one night, and then going off onto the ocean to experience marine biology in the field, how exciting!).
   For now though, I will just relax a while at Theos place, spend the night before going back home tomorrow, where I'll take care of some things that need doing, and then head to Kokkola, where I am (drumroll please) going to get my second tattoo! But that's for tomorrow's me to handle, right now I'm going to wait for Theo to get done with what he's doing and then we're going to watch some Supernatural and relax. He's also had a rough past few days and we both feel like we deserve to relax a bit, so...
   Before I log off for today though, I just want to say that I am insanely grateful for where I'm at in life right now. In the span of 3 days I've completed two things on my bucketlist, been to the edge of the Russian border and been to another country. I've been feeling happy (although a tad sleep deprived), grateful and motivated for almost a week, and I keep having new ideas on what to write, what videos to make, what to add to my bucketlist, etc. In short, I'm happy, and I can't wait to see what the universe has in stock for me for the upcoming months.
   Today marks the beginning of a new month. Make the most of August. Acheive/work for your goals, travel, spend more time around people you love, and focus on making choices that are good for you! This month is for you to grab and make your own, lets do that!

Kummakivi!

   Guys and girls: I finally did it! I went to kummakivi, and I saw the gigantic, unique rock. We drove to the camping spot saturday, then went to Kummakivi and drove home Sunday. I really loved it, it was amazing, the journey and the beautiful landscape we drove through, it looked so different from here at home.

   So now I can cross off another thing on my bucket list, that's amazing! This is the first year I've had one and I'm already crossing so many things off from it, I feel great. I'm finally getting to a point in life where I'm getting to accomplish something and do things I've always wanted to do with my life and in my life. And the most perfect part: I have an amazing significant other who comes along on my adventures with me, how great is that?
   Next step is completing more of the things on the bucket list, but more importantly, I'm of course going to cherish the memories we made on this trip and all the things we saw.
   Also, I hope you enjoy the new video! I know I've been gone for a while, but don't worry there's an explanation coming up soon and you'll get to know and understand everything. Remember to check out my other videos by going to the youtube page here on the blog, and subscribe to my channel so you don't miss out on all the new uploads!

Supporting the Evolving

   As I focus on becoming a better, happier and more contempt person, I find that more and more things make me smile, and that I can much more easily talk to new people. I no longer have a difficult time making phone calls, I can talk to strangers at social events (events I actually want to go to nowadays. But it's more than that too.
   I can actually feel myself growing as a person, as obviously as if I actually grew in size. I learn more and more about different topics and I can't help but wonder what opened my mind. I'm getting better at learning from my mistakes, seeing other people's perspective and not making big deals out of little things. I know more about the world, the people in it and myself than I've never known before, and that's an amazing feeling. I know one of my co-workers has a horse, one has a farm and another one that's going to become a teacher, things I didn't know when I furst started working with them. I know how to speak the beginning scentences of conversational spanish, and so many more things that I didn't know at the beginning of summer. I now know I'm perfectly capable of meditation, and that me and Theo will be perfectly capable of raising our little kitten.
    I know I can let go of things, that I can reach my goals if I focus on them and that I'm capable of more than I could've ever imagined. And the thing is, nothing of that could've been possible without you.
   Because if you're reading this, you're supporting me in one way or another. Maybe you're family, maybe you're one of my friends. Maybe you see me during lectures and stumbled across my blog. Maybe you just read this blog because why not, or to see what todays opinions on political issues are. Regardless of your relationship with me and this little safe haven I've created here, you support me. In all my crazy, weird ideas, all the stuff that I write, in all the oddities I put up for you to read here, you support me.
   Without support, you can't really grow as a person. Without support, you'll forever be stuck with who you've been before, who you're always going to be, and let me tell you something: that's no way to live your life. Evolve, change, dare to think differently from what you're used to. Without support, it's very hard to expand your mind, emotionally, socially and when it comes to knowledge. Without support, it's very hard to evolve at all.
   So thank you, for whatever kind of support you provide, and know that it all means a lot to me. Remember to evolve, to move forward, because you can do it too. Whatever you want to improve; physical health, reading more books, spending more time outside, sleeping more, acheiving more in your career, making more/new friends... Go for it. Because if you don't play the game, you can't win.

My Day Off

   Since today was my first day off in five days, despite the fact that I'm only working parttime, I was planning on making this a productive day, answering emails, stacking wood, doing laundry... aka do all the things I haven't had the time for the past week. But you know me, instead of doing all those things, I instead went on a spontaneous swimming/ volleyball trip to Nykarleby, a small city some kilometres south of here. But that's not how my day started, however.
   I have decided to do more things that scare me, and today I tackled one of them for the first time in a very long time: initiating social interaction with a person I don't know very well, which due to mild anxiety scares me a lot. Me and one of my co-workers have been talking about going out for coffee and get to know eachother better, and a few days ago I asked if she was free this morning, and then we decided to go to Majs Glasscafé in Jakobstad, which was a great choice (the cheesecake was splendid). And we actually hit it off. We talked for almost three hours, non stop about everything from family, to weird names, to work to school. Isn't it wonderful when you find someone you can speak freely with?
   The rest of the day has been spent walking around in Jakobstad, getting myself a case for my guitar for easier transportation when I go to/from Åbo, recycling bottles and food shopping, having a pleasant chat with my parents and trying to plan the tiny trip me and Theo taking this weekend (I'm finally going to be able to cross out another thing on my bucket list, how great is that?)
   Needless to say, I'm now exhausted. I've walked about 10 kilometres today, met more people than I usually do, done things that were completely out of my comfort zone (including jumping from a diving tower) and now I'm finally going to relax a bit and take some time to recharge my social batteries, have a protein yoghurt and drink the milkshake my parents brought me. What a great way to end such an intense day!