#364 The Look Back

   Since tomorrow's the last day of 2017, I figured I might as well go over some highs and lows with you, kind of a look back on all the things that happened during the year. As most of you know, 2017 has been mostly crap, so I'll start with the negatives and end with the positives. Also, enjoy these pictures from throughout the year.
   In January, Trump was welcomed into the White House. This president, with historically low approval rates, kind of marked the beginning of what would become the horror show of 2017. With discussions of net neutrality in the US, debates sparking regarding sexism and egalitarian issues all over the world with their beginning in allegations against well-known people in Hollywood. The world has suffered hurricanes, war, catastrophes, people have been forced to leave their homes because of all of these things and more. Debates about racism, sexism and social issues have been flaming up all over the world.
   Social justice issues and debates have become more prominent and important, and people have a larger freedom to discuss issues that were considered taboo only a few years ago. People started demanding representation for their respective social groups, which hopefully makes an impression in 2018. I have large hopes for the upcoming year, because it really can't become worse globally, unless it's the literal end of the world.
   On a more personal note, I have a lot of new, positive things in my life. I have found someone who cares as much for me as I do for him, and our relationship is blossoming. He's my biggest strenght when I need help, and I can live in certainty because I know I can trust him with anything and he'll always do his best to follow through. I have a new apartment to move into after New Years, and I can feel things looking up for me in the upcoming months, despite the fact that I will soon be overrun by a whole load of school work in January. I am, despite this, looking forward to January, because I sense that it will be a month of personal growth for me, and that it will make a lot of positive changes possible for me. It'll make me a better person to be under this pressure, which will shape me to handle my stress and balance my work and my social life in a way that actually works, instead of intense bursts of both.
   Despite all the things that have happened during this year that were negative, I also feel like they made me a stronger, happier person than I was before. I feel like I have literally grown an inch, I have made huge progress in many personal ways, and can honestly say I will be leaving 2017 a happier and stronger person than I entered it, which makes me feel so proud and blessed. I will enter a new year surrounded by strong, positive people who make an incredible impact on my life, I will become happier and stronger, and grow as a person, and I don't think there's anything more positive than that. I have so many things to work on, so many things to improve, evolve and I can't wait to see what will happen to my talents and interests in the new year. The fact that I will also celebrate the new year with my boyfriend, the person who matters so greatly to me, makes me even happier. I can't believe I get to start the new year with someone so amazing and compassionate.
   That being said, I will celebrate new years with Theo and, before anyone even thinks to ask, we will be celebrating safely, surrounded by people we know. I hope that all of you will do the same. Get the new year started the right way: surround yourself with friends and/or family, celebrate safely and have a really good time!
   I wish all of you a Happy New Year, and I hope this will be the fresh start I know some of you need. Make sure to make the most of this fine opportunity, and improve yourself in all the ways you can!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Day #360 Meeting the Relatives

   So today I travelled like 100 kilometres to meet some of my boyfriend's relatives, mostly his mother's siblings and his cousins, and I was really really nervous. However, I was pleasantly surprised (not that I hadn't expected them to be nice), but because I didn't need to be nervous at all, they were really kind and asked just the right amount of questions, although the same one's were repeated quite often, like what I study, what year and where I'm originally from.
   Both of us thought it was time for the other one to see the at least parts of the family, and it really was. I feel like I was welcome and they may have liked me quite a lot. It makes me feel so much better to know that not only his immeadiate family, but his relatives, also like you.
(Image source: Pinterest)

Taking A Break

   I have had a lot of things on my mind recently, as if stress has just sought me out from absolutely nothing, and I've been thinking about and doing everything else at the same time. I still have a lot of things to figure out, but in October I decided to take some time off in the end of the year, so that I can spend my Christmas break with concentrating on spending time with my family and friends instead of working my butt of on several projects. So for a while, until January, I'll not be blogging or posting videos on youtube.
   So in October, I started stockpiling blogposts and video materials, and today is the first day where I use piled materials. So as I take a break, you'll still get the same amount of material, the same kind and the same quality as usual. There won't be any updates of my current life though, as you might imagine, but you can still turn in for your daily dose of blog reading whenever you want and expect the same kind of stuff that's always here.
   I have had a lot of things to think about lately. A lot of classes, looking for a new apartment, working on my blog and several personal projects, still trying to maintain a social life... I just need a break, I need a moment to myself, a moment to spend with the people who care about me the most, I need a moment to clear my head, collect my thoughts so that I can come back with more creativity, more strenght and higher quality posts and videos for you guys. I'd love to get back to my old passion for writing, for creating, a passion that's dying whenever I get more and more stressed, like this fall. I have a lot of things to make up for, a lot of things to improve. I have a lot to work on.
   So as I take this little break, this little time for breathing and healing my mind after stressing for several months. I have a lot of things on my mind at the moment, and I have a lot of things to do that are too personal to share.
   As of the first of January, I'll be back, writing new posts every day. I'll still be updating my other social media while I'm gone, so if you want to follow along my life even as I take a break from blogging and youtube, you can follow my instagram and snapchat, which are listed beneath Other Social Media, found in the upper corner, or you can just click this link!
   I look forward to come back in January. Until then, have a great time, a great Christmas and an amazing Christmas break. I'll see you soon!
(Image source: Give a Girl a Blog)

Day #343 Geocaching

   Today we went out to geocache when the rain was finally stopping (but as we, me and Theo, left the apartment, we soon found out that the rain had begun again, so we had a total of 20 minutes without any rain today, look at those clouds above the church, they spoke for themselves). I still appreciated it (although when we turned back, there was actually quite the small storm going on around us with both wind and rain), because as I spent the rest of the day studying, and as most of you know, the human brain works better after a bit of exercise and some fresh air. I have my first exam this Tuesday, so it's really time to get to understanding my material. (If anyone's wondering, the exam is in linguistics.)
   I was introduced to geocaching quite some time ago, knowing what it is for several years, but I got into it when my boyfriend made me come along to find a couple of caches during the summer. I was surprised when it came to how much I enjoyed it, and now I've found around 150 caches (which should tell you I'm not very active, it goes in waves, just like all of my other interests) and have done so both when at my parent's house and here in town. I find it to be a really good way of getting exercise, and it's also very social and very fun. For example, when looking for one particular cache, me and Theo bumped into an old finnish couple who were also there, geocaching together. They were really kind and polite people.
   Also, when outside walking we found some adorable little ducks (which were surprisingly kind and curious about us, sometimes coming pretty close to us as we looked) which I, of course, took way to many pictures of. It was a bit of a highlight actually, I love all kinds of animals, and find birds particularly adorable and interesting.

Day #341

   Yesterday I realized that I have a new addiction: knitting, and everything that has to do with it. I mean, never let me enter the section with yarn at any supermarket, because I will spend all my money, and yours, buying yarn and new knitting needles. Here's a picture of part (note: part) of my current collection. If you're wondering what will be made from all of this: the black and white are going towards a pair of knee high socks, with a small white stripe (otherwise all black) and the other colors are going towards a scarf.

Look at these adorable colors!

   I haven't knitted or done anything within this category of creative work in so long, and I feel so great about getting started again. I'm already on the way towards a first sock, and it feels so great to be working with my hands again! I've also crocheted a few things, but nothing that I'm particularly proud of, however I seem to be more patient with my work now than when I first learned, and that's always a positive improvement. I've really missed this part of my creative self.
   Before anyone asks, no I don't know what got me started again. I think I just really, really missed knitting and working on something with my hands, and that's it. Also, I've always found it hard to find socks and mittens that I like in stores (in the past some of my realtives have supplied me with a multitude of mittens and socks (which are still in use, mind you, I just felt like adding something new to my collection) they've made themselves) and even, sometimes, when lookin on the internet. For some reason I have very particular taste when it comes to knitted socks and mittens, and store bought just won't cut it. Also, there's a certain, very specific, kind of satisfaction when making something with your hands. Any fellow knitter will agree that it's true. It provides a very unique peace of mind that you can't really get anywhere else, even if you decide to look for it.

   Also, if you don't knit or crochet: I really urge you to try. It's a very useful skill, and it's fun. It also gives you the ability to make things exactly the way you want them, and you don't have to stick with storebought clothes anymore. 

Day #342 Dried Pineapple

   Have you ever had something that you felt you could eat all the time, and never get tired of? Because I just found my thing that will never bore me: dried pineapple. I love dried fruits in general, but this fruit definetly takes the cake. I don't think I've ever fallen this quickly for a snack before, I could eat kilos of this stuff, and I'm not even joking.
   The only problem with this is that it's really expensive (at least when you're on a student budget, and every cent (cough, click on my stuff, cough) counts) even in smaller amounts, like a bag of 250 grams. So when I buy this, it has to last me for a while for it to actually be worth it, I can't just munch down an entire bag in two days. For example, the bag in the upper picture was bought tuesday, and I've forced myself to make it last (good on me for not binge eating anymore, right?
   I've also managed to get sick again (don't ask me how I do it, no one knows) as I had a fever yesterday. And in the middle of exam season! I've been more sick in my life, but it definetly adds to the stress. Hopefully, I manage to study enough for my exams, but if not, there's really no worries: you can take an exam 3 times, so I can always hope for better health after Christmas. However, I'm of course going to try my best even before Christmas, despite a bit of a fever and a spinning head when I stand up!
   A large hug to all of you reading, thank you for sticking with me despite the spotty blogging! I'm going to try to get back to my regular schedule again, as soon as I'm feeling better! Also, a special thank you to my friends who keep asking how I'm feeling and telling me to get well soon. You guys are the absolute best!

Day #332 Sewing

   I've started feeling a bit better, the cold is still making me have headaches from time to time, but overall I feel so much more well than I did in the beginning of the week. I've managed to do the dishes and some studying today, which makes me feel even better. I tend to go a tiny bit crazy if I can't do anything for long periods of time, and I'm forced to just lay in bed.
   But today's (or technically yesterday) positive note isn't that. It's sewing. I haven't been able to sew for quite a while, and today I finally did it. For those of you who don't know, students at my university has a tradition of sewing patches onto clothing worn during informal events (the more patches you have, the more parties/gatherings you've attended). I think it's really fun, though the sewing takes a really long time and since it's such a rough material, you often cut your fingers on the rough end of the needle. Or maybe that's just me and it turns out I suck at this.
   No matter why I constantly stab myself by accident, I'm really glad I got around to doing some improving. Also, I had lovely company while sewing, which made it a lot more fun!

Day #331 I'm Writing a Journal

   After a break of about a couple of years, I started writing a new journal. I have always found that I can write my feelings here, out loud, on my blog. But as certain parties joined the crowd of readers, I no longer felt comfortable sharing them online. And then, I started letting my thoughts being just that: thoughts. Turns out, I'm not good at keeping stuff rattling around my brain for too long, it kinda makes me more stressed and crazy and anxious about things.
   So I got another journal. I kept one all the time when I was younger, and it was just now when I stopped sharing them publically that I realized how much I missed sharing my thoughts. I've been writing in it for a couple of day now, and I love that I started doing that again.
   I really like to have my thoughts and ideas written down somewhere, it makes for a fun overlook and it makes me feel like I have things more under control.
   I also love how it looks, it has such a simple look and I love the texture: when you look at it from the front, it's this dark grey blackish color, but when you look at it from an angle, it has this rainbow glow. It's awesome.

Day #329

   Today is my boyfriend's birthday! He's turning twenty one years old, and I can't belive we're already celebrating his first birthday while together. It feels like such an amazing privelege to spend so much time with such an amazing person. Sadly, I'm not feeling all too well today, so I won't be writing a lot about this, but know that I love you so much, honey, and happy birthday!

Day #328

   In the pursuit of more enchanting writing and drawings (which I've actually started doing again, believe it or not!) and perhaps finding some new motivation to do so, I got some new pens today. I haven't bought new equipment in several months and felt it was finally time for some new stuff, mostly because a lot of my pens are running out of ink at this point, and my pencils are becoming shorter and shorter by the day. I decided on a cheap pack of coloring pencils (adorable colors, and surprisingly good quality compared to the price I payed for them), some really cute metallic gel pens (partly because I've always really loved those, and never really had any on my own, and a set of regular pencils, labeled "pencils for time optimists" (speaking of, I'm writing this at one in the morning) which had adorable texts on them, such as I'll have it done by tomorrow, I have plenty of time, I'm just fashionably late and I'll be hoe in time for dinner. They're adorable, not to mention their colors are soo cute!
   (Side note: if you've been wondering why I've been gone for a while, I've been sick for quite a while now, but now I'm back, still kicking!)
   For quite some time now, I've wanted to take up drawing again, mostly because I always found it very relaxing, I really don't have any real talent in the art of drawing. I've always enjoyed it as part of my hobbies, but lately the amount of time for that has been lacking. I know getting new pens and pencils will not change my inspiration just like that, but I hope that they will give me a bit of a nudge in the right direction. My inspiration have peaked in the past few days, which I consider really good (however, there won't be too much time to put it to use, since I still have a ton of work to do before I get to go home for the holidays and use my time as I please).
   I also included a closer picture of the pens, if you're interested in reading the text on them. They're really quite adorable, aren't they?

Day #327

Yesterday was spent with a visit to the local museum. I've always loved taking trips to museums, I love walking around and watching history and art surrounding me, for example, look at this detail in one of the works of art that were shown in the upper section of the museum.

Day #325

   I love baking, but there's rarely time for that anymore as I do a ton more things at once, but today I decided to change my pattern and actually get some baking done. I quickly picked a recipie for cupcakes and used the regular one for cheesecake.
   I had forgotten how relaxing it is to spend time in the kitchen, and I'm very happy that I took an hour out of my day to complete these two desserts. I feel like I should take some more personal time and do different things every day instead of just doing the same things over and over again. In light of this, I'm going to go out for coffee with my best friend tomorrow, I really look forward to it, because I love spending time with her, and tomorrow will be spent mostly with studying for the test on Friday. I still have some stuff to memorize.
   The baked goods also turned out to be a pleasant surprise for the boys when they got to the apartment after their lecture.

Day #323

   Yesterday was a special one, marking me and Theo's first half year together, time well spent in great company which has generated a lot of laughs and great memories. And which will lead to a lot more positive experiences. We decided to celebrate small, going for dinner and drinks (asian food and a couple of appletinis).
   We went to Kiinanmuuri, a place with great asian cuisine and both of us had some amazing Kung Pao chicken (I have really missed asian food). We had also been thinking about trying the restaurant for quite a while, as we've walked past it several times. We were not disappointed, the portion sized were great and the food was really tasty.
   We then left right before they closed, and steered towards the centre of town, where we decided to go to one of my personal favorite bars.
   I had never had an appletini before, neither had he, and it did not taste the way I had imagined (I had imagined a lot more of apple taste, and a bit less lime) but it was actually pretty tasty, although very sour and the lime was a bit overwhelming. I liked it, but it's not a new personal favorite, and I doubt I will be drinking it very often, however I don't regret trying it. I had actually been curious about the drink for quite a while, since it's mentioned so often on tv, in movies and in books.
   We also decided to play some Trivial Pursuit Globetrotter edition while at the bar (also total sidenote: how awesome are bar games? I think it's an absolutely amazing idea), and we realised that our geographical knowledge is actually quite lacking. It made me realize that I really do want to travel and learn a lot more about the world that surrounds me, and that I should read more stuff about other countries and their cultures, since I really know a lot less than I thought I did.
   I had a lot of fun celebrating, and I look forward to spending many, many more months with him and creating more pleasant memories and experiences. It made me realize how lucky I am to have a partner who stands by me during everything I go through, who's proud of me when I accomplish things and who cherishes me and supports me, something that a lot of people don't have.
   I'm so grateful to have someone like him in my life and to have his support. He makes me laugh and relax, even when I'm stressed and under a lot of pressure. I enjoy myself more when I'm around him, and we're close enough to be comfortable around eachother even when we don't share an activity, and I can for the first time in a long time be comfortable enough around someone to actually just be quiet around them.
   I also for the first time in a long time see no reason for a relationship I'm in to end. We don't annoy eachother, we like the same kind of music, and we enjoy the same kind of things. We want the same thing in our future, to evolve our relationship and grow together, travel and experience the world together. I feel happy and secure whenever I'm around him.
   I'm so looking forward to spending more time with him, getting to known him further and evolve with him. I have yet to meet a person whos company I enjoy this much.

   Enjoy these pictures from yesterday evening, portraying us, our food and the drinks, and of course, the Trivial Pursuit game.

   I look forward to creating a lot more, equally amazing memories with you, honey. Here's to a lot more half a years to come!

Day #313

   Today I was surprised by something I actually thought I'd never think I would think so positively about. I had my first lab session in almost half a year, and as I remembered them being very draining and making me feel like I didn't accomplish anything this spring.
   However, now I felt useful and like I actually new what I was doing, free to bring out my ideas into the space. I'm not sure if it's because if I'm more experienced now, or if it's in the change of lab and lab partner. But no matter what caused it, it's amazing that I actually managed to feel better about working in a lab. I also had quite a lot of fun during the lab, a lot of people I know made their way into the lab at the same day I did (we had four days to choose from) and so I count myself very lucky to get to surround myself with such nice people, working around them.
   I also count myself lucky to have the opportunity to study something that I'm so passionate about and fascinated by that I don't mind spending 8 hours a day on.
(Image source: Trans Millenium Peptides)

Day #312

   Today has been insanely busy. I've taken notes to four classes, read two short stories by Edgar Allan Poe (slowly rekindling my love for his work) and stockpiling posts for my December break. I feel like I've really gotten stuff done, and knowing tomorrow will be really busy with school stuff. I have a ton of things to do as well.

Day #310 A Concrete Example

   I always talk about how busy I am, so I figured I would give you an actual example of my To Do-list, so here it is! This is what I need/want to do today. I'm, as usual, writing two blog posts, and as I'm working on several projects at the moment, I'd like to write at least 4000 words to further progress my work. I'd like to finish reading a book for Briljanta Böcker and review the same.
   As it is Monday, I need to record a video, and publish according to schedule. I have classes to take notes for, and a class to attend in the afternoon, scientific philosophy, which I'm very much looking forward to (I remember the last lecture I attended to be absolutely spellbinding.). As I'm also stockpiling I need to make two posts for December when I'll be taking my vacation. I have also planned a bit of exercise and will be taking a walk sometime in the afternoon or evening.
   As my boyfriend's birthday is coming up, I'm looking forward to start working out all the things regarding his present. I already have an idea, but a lot of details have to fall into place before I can consider myself happy with it.
   As every day, I also have a whole bunch of emails to send, reply to and read. I've recently reached out to a company regarding a possible collaboration, but as nothing has been decided yet, I won't be telling you anything about that now.
   So as you can see, this daily for me. Being busy has become a rutine, and I love it!

Day #308 Pescetarian

   I have decided to, once again take up my pescetarianism. For those of you who don't know, when you're a pescetarian you don't eat meat, only fish. People do this for many reasons; moral and health being the most common ones. This means I'll be replacing my protein with other sources, such as eggs, beans and nuts.
   However, as I don't do this because of moral reason, just simply because I want to and because of the health benefits of doing this, I have decided that I am allowed to make exceptions (for example, I will be having Christmas ham in a few months). This is something that I've done before and would have done again sooner or later. I've been thinking about if for quite a while, several months in fact, and I would like avoiding meat a habit for myself. I view this as one of the first steps to make my life a healthier one, and I look forward to it.
   I did this for almost a year, and it was amazing. I did not miss the meat, though I sometimes craved it on an odd day. I hope to be able to keep to it this time, especially due to making a couple of exceptions every now and then. I've also read that meat is very globally strenious to produce, and I hope to minimize my impact on the world that way.
   I've already been on a pescetarian for two days, and have yet to realize why I gave it up in the first place. I don't miss the meat at all actually. I don't plan to follow this strictly however, as I said, there will be exceptions to my habits of not eating meat. I've also started to gradually introduce vegetarian food to my boyfriend and his roommate when I cook for them, but only every once in a while. I refuse to be the kind of person that forces my habits on someone else.
(Image source: slimshortcut.com)

Day #307

Here are a couple of pictures from my little walk yesterday. I'm still sick and hence don't have the energy to do a lot of blogging or work in general, so I decided to post this to keep somewhat of an upload schedule. I'm still plagued by headaches, but I feel a little bit better.

Day #302

   I've always known myself as a person who has very little discipline when it comes to writing. I can have an idea that I think it's absolutely amazing, and then in a few short moments I can have another one, which I think is better, and then start writing on that... I never really have the motivation to finish a project since something else always comes along, and I barely have ny finished projects.
   But lately, I've found myself working on a particular project that speaks to me on an emotional level more than anything I've ever done before, and even if my mind wanders and I write a short story, I always seem to find my way back into the old story. It also something quite personal, something that shows a lot of my own experiences in the world, and tells the stories of people I've met and discussed with, some of them my close friends.
   I have yet to decide wether I'm going to share this work on any social media, as it is (at least right now, in the first draft) such a personal concept, with so many personal thoughts and ideas. Even though these ideas and thoughts, these experiences are not my own and written into a fictional story, I still fear those involved would become uncomfortable with people reading their words and their stories, despite that there's no chance anyone would recognize them.
   At the moment, I'm just very happy to have something to work on that gives me such a large amount of peace in my hectic life.
   Also, enjoy this picture of my double chin! You're welcome!

Day #301

   Lately I've come to realize that I'm in fact quite priviledged. I live in a country where I can acheive anything I want, I have a family who loves me, and a lot of friends who love me as well. I study at the university I dreamed of when I was a child, and I study something I'm passionate about an interested in. I have a partner who cares for me like no one has ever done before. I'm overall a very lucky person to have all the things and all the people I have in my life.
   But the thing that made me realize it recently, is my trip yesterday.

   I was easily able to improvise a trip for an entire day, without having any trouble with the financial stuff or the planning, everything went as smoothly as it possibly could have. I realized if I want to see my friends, if I miss them, I can just jump onto a train or a bus, and see them the same day. It's something that will probably stay with me for a very long time, because it shows me that I have a lot of opportunities to take, that I can take, and that in the future, I will take.
   I may not say it too often, or even barely at all, but I'm very grateful for all the things I have. I'm grateful for my friends and family, and for my boyfriend. And even though I don't like my apartment at the moment, I'm grateful that I have somewhere to keep my things and somewhere to sleep.
    I'm also grateful for the fact that I had the opportunity to buy 9 (9!!!) books yesterday at the book fair. I have so much new stuff to read now, I'm looking forward to reading all of them (although I've already read one, a Stephen King novel, but I felt like I could expand my collection with some more King books). If you're curious about the titles and the authors of the books I bought, you can go to Brijanta Böcker where the titles will be revealed later today.