Because no matter what it's about, I feel like I should do more with the things I engage in, wether it's a side project or a main one, studies or hobbies, friends or family. I should spend more time with everyone, work harder on everything and improve faster in all my hobbies. Which is not at all a ridiculous standard to have for yourself (are you sensing the sarcasm here?". I always just feel like I should do, and be, more.
It's moronic of me, of course. You can only push yourself so far at a time, you can't keep pushing and pushing forever, because after all, you're only human and there's really nothing more you can do, if you've given your day your best.
I do believe you should always work on improving yourself and making the best of every day you're given, but doing your best is just doing your best, not overworking yourself for something that you can't push along anyway, or forgetting to eat because you have to work on a thing for school.
I went to a doctor's appointment on Monday, and they told me I stress too much, which is not false. I knew that before I went there, it's not exactly news. But I've actually tried to slow myself down a bit more, because the tempo I've been doing things at these past few weeks has been insane. Effective, but insane. Yesterday, for example, instead of studying more chemisty (already had two hours done during the day) I took a nice bubblebath, and today I've watched a few episodes of a series Theo and I are following, and talked to my mom. I'm thinking I'm going to do one leasure thing a day, as a start. It probably won't fix my problem completely, but it's a start.
I am really working on realising that I'm doing enough, and sometimes, more than enough (today for example, since I did all those things despite me being a bit under the weather). It's just very hard for me, because I've never really considered myself to be sufficient. Old habits die hard, I guess, and it sure does take a huge amount of time, but I'm getting there.
Every day I'm getting closer and closer to knowing that I am, in fact, not superhuman. My day has 24 hours, just like anyone else's, no more and no less, and I can't do anything more than fill those hours with things and people that I like.
I went to a doctor's appointment on Monday, and they told me I stress too much, which is not false. I knew that before I went there, it's not exactly news. But I've actually tried to slow myself down a bit more, because the tempo I've been doing things at these past few weeks has been insane. Effective, but insane. Yesterday, for example, instead of studying more chemisty (already had two hours done during the day) I took a nice bubblebath, and today I've watched a few episodes of a series Theo and I are following, and talked to my mom. I'm thinking I'm going to do one leasure thing a day, as a start. It probably won't fix my problem completely, but it's a start.
I am really working on realising that I'm doing enough, and sometimes, more than enough (today for example, since I did all those things despite me being a bit under the weather). It's just very hard for me, because I've never really considered myself to be sufficient. Old habits die hard, I guess, and it sure does take a huge amount of time, but I'm getting there.
Every day I'm getting closer and closer to knowing that I am, in fact, not superhuman. My day has 24 hours, just like anyone else's, no more and no less, and I can't do anything more than fill those hours with things and people that I like.
But, it's late, and I should get to sleep. Even though tomorrow is actually a free day, I still have to get up and make the most of the upcoming 24 hours.
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