Day #207

Today me and the family went out to the sea, my mom planning and promising a good time. Tough for me, it was kind of spontaneous, I got told about it yesterday and was not very prepared for the family trip. The ride took about one and a half hour, or maybe a little bit more. I tried to relax, listening to some of my favorite bands in the back of the car. I loved the picture taking, the water and the fresh air, but the weather was always kind of cloudy, so not too great. Seeing a new place, taking pictures and making new memories is always interesting, and it was this time as well, although I’m now completely exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open and my back hurts like hell. I haven't really seen this part of the country, so it was nice to see the small harbour, the boats and the beautiful old buildings. I only wish that the circumstances were better.

  I have always tried to see the positive in things, but today it was really, really hard. I wasn't feeling well at all, upset about things that I don't want to mention to all of you reading, because it would probably upset the people involved and I'm not one to drag someone (even if it would be satisfying and give me a lot of sympathy points). I've been thinking about it for a while, decided we and the person were past it, and it turns out that no we were not. The thing was still upsetting the other person involved, and I didn't get to relax at all even if it was supposed to be a fun thing with my family and relatives, and my mind was absolutely stuck in the drama. It was really frustrating.

I also got to drive the car on the way back, which was great. I haven’t gotten much practice in driving in larger cities, and I really miss driving the car while I’m in Åbo. It’s so peaceful and relaxing to drive and listen to music, it’s one of my favorite things in the entire world.

I also met my cousins, and my uncle and his wife (from my mother’s side of the family) and I loved meeting them. I have always cared a lot about my uncles family, and about him. I feel that we are very alike, which is why it saddens me so much that I haven’t seen them since forever, and the kids have grown so much. I never realise how long I’ve actually been gone, how much time has passed since I met someone in my life and how much they’ve grown and/or changed while I was away at school.

Enjoy these pictures from the little fieldtrip, and I hope you all had a really fun and interesting Wednesday!

Day #206

I haven’t built a puzzle in almost a full year, and since the weather was so bad and I had a couple of hours to spare, and I was just loving the opportunity. I know I sound a little bit like a grandmother with nothing to do all day, but puzzles are so much fun! I love the relaxation they bring me, the satisfaction when you finish one, and the focus they allow you to have for the rest of the day.

I actually started another puzzle when I first began, one with parrots. But I felt like I needed a break, so I handled the easier puzzle with only 500 pieces this morning to get some extra relaxing.

I’m thinking of bringing one of my many puzzles here at my parent’s house with me when I go back to school, so I have something to relax with. My next year is going to be an extremely active one, so I think it’s well needed.

Day #204

My boyfriend has been asking me to go frisbee golfing with him since I came back here from Åbo. But there has always been a reason not to go, and we kept putting it off, but this sunday we finally went. And I loved it.

The only kind of golfing is mini golfing and I enjoyed that a lot when I was a kid. I loved it, but I never expected to like disc golfing as much as I did. I wasn’t too good at it (who is when you find something new to try), but I really liked it still. The weather wasn’t too great, but I loved the activity itself.

I’m really looking forward to the next time we go, and hopefully I’ll get a little bit better as we do it more. And also, I’m hoping to not hit the trees as much as I did Sunday.

Day #203

Saturday was partly spent with volleyball, the entire afternoon spent outside on the beach, in great company once more. I love volley, although I suck at it. Really, you’ve never seen a worse player than I am, but it’s so much fun to play! I also manage to get hurt every single time I play, bruising everywhere, but that doesn’t matter really either!

The weather was great, sunny but windy (so it wasn’t really hot either), the beach was warm and soft beneath my feet and the company was great. I loved it, though I think my shoulder got slightly sunburnt. I love spending time outdoors, I love fresh air and I love hanging out with people I care about.

I always think I should spend more time with people around me, care for them more, do more things with them, never really realizing that I actually do spend quite a large amount of time with them.

Day #201

I love getting to know new people, and this friday was spent with my boyfriend and his friends, making me realize once more how nice they are. For the first time, I find myself getting along with the friends of my partner, which rarely happens. Discussing, hanging out with them, playing games with them… It’s a lot of fun, really. But the best part of all of it is still spending time with Theo.

Many of my friends are absolutely great, but they are more antisocial and often prefer talking over the phone rather than meeting in person (although we do that, but not too often) which makes me appreciate his friends more than I usually would.
Enjoy this picture of me being really sociable.

Day #205

I tried something new today. I went geocaching with my boyfriend (who has gone like a hundred times before, and has a ton of experience compared to me) for the first time and I really enjoyed it (despite getting mosquito bites all over my neck!).
I love the small sense of adventure it gives me and since I love the outdoors I really appreciated the fresh air and the walking. Every activity that brings me outdoors is a positive one in my book, and finding new ones are always just as exciting!
I'm honestly thinking I'm going to go geocaching again, at least when the weather clears up. It's been so gloomy lately, it's hard to get motivated to go outside.

I Buzzed My Hair; the Aftermath

When I cut my hair, people came to me with many concerns. Don’t you think you’ll regret it? What if you don’t like it? What will people say about you?

Now, it’s been almost a month since I buzzed my hair off to only a couple of millimeters, and in hindsight, I can honestly say that it gave me more than I could have ever imagined. The response and what people said about me alone was a pleasant surprise. I’ve been called brave several times, all because of a haircut. People also asked me if it was a feminist-thing, to which I replied no. Although I consider myself to be a feminist, and I strongly believe in equality, my hair has absolutely nothing to do with that.

When it comes to not liking or to regretting my new haircut, there is only one thing I can say: never. I’d never not love how I look with really short hair, and I will never regret buzzing it.

If you’ve ever wondered what you’d look like without/with really short hair, I strongly recommend you try it. I’ve always believed in taking chances, really going for it when I find something that I want, and my life has turned out great because of that. If you have goals, if you’ve found something that you desire in life, I strongly suggest you do it, because really; What’s the worst that could happen?

There is one thing that I didn't consider before cutting my hair, something I was very disappointed in my bald friends for not telling me: mosquitoes tend to bite your scalp.
If you'd like to read the original post, you can do that by clicking here!

Fäboda

   I've spent the afternoon in great company. Me, the boyfriend and some of his friends decided to go out to Fäboda and play some volleyball. I also decided to take quite a few pictures to remember the day by. I suck at volley, though I still had a really good time. Here are a few pictures to describe our great, but windy, afternoon!

Day #200

Lately, I’ve been missing out on spending time with my siblings, both of them. Since we’re all three quite busy, me spending most of the year outside the house nowadays, since I live about 450 kilometres away and my siblings having several hobbies each, we don’t really spend much time together.

Yesterday however, we actually did spend some time together. Me and my sister decided to go clothes shopping, and my brother tagged along just for the company. Playing nostalgic music in the car on our way into town, talking while we shopped and eating some fast food before going back home. Pictures of what I bought will be posted when I manage to put an outfit together!

I think I should spend more time with my siblings in general, though it’s hard for all of us to actually make time. And I do have fun being with them.

Day #198

So this tuesday was the day marking mine and Theo’s first two months together. I tried forever to write something down that wasn’t too personal, but still open my heart a little bit to everyone who read it. Turns out it’s very hard to find something that’s perfectly in between those.

I think the past two months have been some of the greatest this far in my life, relationship wise. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this cared for, this appreciated or supported by someone I’ve dated (or someone in my life in general). And I honestly don’t know that I have ever fallen this hard for anyone before.

The way he allows me to view the world, and myself, in a new light is nothing short of astonishing to me. He teaches me about stuff I never really thought about, and I’ve tried new things because of him. It is amazing how people can turn your life in a whole new direction just by existing. Spending two months with him has made me wonder about what’s next, looking forward to everything in my future more.

With him by my side I feel more confident, more supported and cared for than ever before. I honestly don’t know where I would be without him.

Day #197

New office supplies are one of my most favorite things in the world. I love the smell of new notebooks, the touch of a new pencil and starting to write on the first page in an empty book. There’s just something about it that I love, so much. I also love buying them because they give me a false sense of productivity, and since I love planning out my days, I love buying a new calendar.

Today’s positive choice is probably quite obvious. I bought new stuff, things that I need for my notes and for school (which will be starting up again in about a month). I’m really looking forward to it too, because one of my best friends is moving to Åbo to study and I look forward to spending time with her so, so much.

I’m also really happy about the calendar, which brings me so much joy and makes my life so much easier when I get to plan out my days and allows me to take down notes on everything that needs notes.

Kaffia, and Why I'm Not Going Back

So yesterday, it being two months since me and my boyfriend officially started dating, we decided to try something new and fun, so we picked out a coffee shop neither of us had been to before, and jumped into the car, hoping for a good time. However, said coffee place (Kaffia) did not deliver.

Other than the cozy interior and the chairs you almost sunk into when you sat down, the place had very little to offer. Not that the menu was small; it was the range it taste that disappointed me. A chai latte (a coffee drink that even newly hired staff at Robert’s Coffee or Starbucks should be able to make with ease) and a blueberry-coconut cake seemed like such a simple order, that couldn’t possibly go wrong, now could it?

But oh, it did. The chai latte I received tasted like drinking water with some cinnamon mixed into it, and the taste of the blueberry cake was astonishingly plain, me being able to detect only a slight tingling of coconut, even less blueberry and something that tasted like cheap cream cheese. They both looked fine, making me even more disappointed in their taste.

The service was impeccable, though the place was loud and crowded, and the interior was like something I might some day place in my own house, but other than that, there was nothing positive about the café. The best thing about yesterday continues to be spending time with Theo.

So if you’re on your way through Jakobstad anytime soon, wondering if you should pop in and have a quick brew at Kaffia… Don’t.

Pictures from Saturday!

   Here are a couple of pictures from this weekend, from our walk on Saturday. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed the experience itself, though I find it very unlikely. The weather was amazing, perfect for picture taking!

Alone Time

   I've gone away for the weekend with my boyfriend for the first time. His family owns a small house in a little community, and we went up here to get some alone time, just the two of us. It's been a long time since we've had more than a few hours alone to ourselves, and so far, I'm enjoying myself, currently sunbathing on the sundeck.

  We started our morning by going for a walk, something well needed for the both of us to relax after a harsh week of work. I'm planning to go swimming later, and with any luck, I’ll be able to convince him to come with me. He’s not too fond of swimming, but I’d appreciate the company.

  The weather is great, clear skies and a little bit of wind (so the warmth isn't too much). I'm currently getting spoiled by Theo, as he is cooking for me.

  I’ll try keeping you guys as updated as possible, but the internet connection sucks out here, making it harder to be active on social media. However, I’ll keep you guys posted, and I’ll get home tomorrow!

Day #193

Working hard or hardly working? A common joke, most of you have probably heard it. But in the past few days, I’ve lived it (the first part that is). I’ve been working my butt off, and I think I’ve got sore muscles in places I didn’t even realize I had muscles.

You can see what I’ve been up to in the picture, and you’re probably thinking it doesn’t look that hard. Trust me; it’s not… Until you start doing it for several hours every day, and now that I’ve done it for soon to be four days in a row, it really makes my back ache just thinking about it.

Thankfully I’ll have the weekend off to do some relaxing and easing my muscles back into a healthy state of relaxation (before going back to work on Monday again).

But despite all my sore muscles and all the strenuous activity, I love doing this. It gives me some sort of peace of mind to do physically heavy work, and I think I’m actually going to be quite sad when all of this is over… However, there’s no need to feel sad yet, as I still have a lot to do!

Day #194

There are very few things in life worth more than friends and acquaintances. I have always loved being around people, more so people that I like/are close to me. Today I got to spend some quality time with an old friend from high school, enjoying a soft, silky mango smoothie and the pleasant conversation and company. It was really fun, and not having seen her in what seemed like forever, we had a lot to share a ton of stories. She told me a lot about her work, her summer and I shared stories from my life in Åbo, telling her about my boyfriend and how we met, my apartment, and all the wonderful people I’ve met during my time there.

We also went clothes shopping, me being the only one who found something (again, even though I didn’t need any more clothes), and then shared some ice cream and some other stuff, discussing weekend plans and plans for the future.

Today I realised I should keep the people I care about closer, and that I really should be keeping in contact with them a lot more. I should try harder to tell them how much I actually care about them, showing them that I love them more often. I’m really bad at keeping in touch though, so it’ll probably take a lot of time before I actually get good at it.

So that’s the positive choice for today; spending some time with an old friend, and then realising something very important about myself. Self realization is the key to improvement.

I'm looking forward to improving myself more based on what I realized today, and if you're my friend, I hope that you know that I love you a lot, and care about you, even though I'm quite bad at showing it.

Teach me to fly

Please, teach me to fly,

she whispered into the dark

Just take my hands,

he answered her softly

Take them, and follow me

She looked into his eyes,

wondering what they held

Looking for what secrets

may be hidden behind

Not noticing the hellfire within

Follow me, he whispered

and so she quickly did

Stepping off the ledge

tumbling down the steep

soon covered by muddy water

Day #190

I spent monday night with my boyfriend in a local town, beginning with having some delicious spring rolls, eating them in the nearby park. We also went through the sales in a clothing store, finding some cute shirts for him and a really adorable, red longsleeve shirt for me. I didn’t really need new clothes, but as I am a tiny bit of a shopaholic, I couldn’t resist just this once.

We also went walking in another park, taking pictures of the beautiful flowers and sceneries it sported, the weather being warm and welcoming, and the park by some miracle almost empty, as it is quite often filled with people. The sun were still warming us when it started setting behind the trees, bringing the feeling of summer even closer to my heart. I love summer, the cooling breezes, the sunlight, the birds... Just everything is perfect during the summer (though really, I love all the seasons equally, but for different reasons).

Just walking around in the warm evening sun, talking to him and spending some time alone with him… It was something that I haven’t gotten to do for quite some time and I’ve missed it.

As we are both at our parents for a few more weeks, friends and/or family are often with us, and we very rarely get to spend time completely alone. It might sound selfish, but I kind of miss having him all to myself, and I actually look forward to getting to have more quality time with him once we go back to Åbo.

The Bikini Body

My friend and I had a very interesting discussion about the concept of the “bikini body” yesterday, both sharing the concerns about this. Neither of us completely understood the concept of having a bikini body. Products can even be marketed as “bikini friendly”, setting the standard for female bodies during the summer ridiculously high. Turns out that you actually can’t go to the beach without being skinny, because you can’t wear a bikini unless you’re skinny enough or fit enough.

She asked me if I thought it was going to change, if female’s bodies will ever be a hundred percent accepted, even if they don’t fit the current beauty standard. Trying to be optimistic, I answered that I do think so and that I hope that it will, but I think it’ll take a lot of time, and a lot of change in the perspective of men and how they’re viewing women, and how women view themselves.

Men and women will sadly ever be treated the same, because we biologically aren’t the same, and hoping for 100% equality is like hoping for rain in the Sahara desert. Men can’t bear children, and women will never be as physically strong as men, but the fact that women’s bodies will be sexualized every single summer, making the standards higher and higher each year, makes me really sad. It makes me sad that we keep comparing ourselves to other women, who are genetically different from us, with different bone structure and different fat distribution,  and we wonder “why don’t I look like that?”...

The thing is, we can complain about this as much as we want, but unless we actually start doing something about the standards of our bodies (and this goes for men too; not every guy needs to have a six pack and be able to lift 200 lbs just like that), the standard will never change.

Take a step back, and appreciate how you look, appreciate your body. As long as you’re healthy, you have nothing to worry about. You are just as beautiful as everyone around you, never forget that.

I'm not skinny, and I'm not fit, but I'm not going to worry about wearing my bikini, not this year or any other year. I know there are women who are more fit or skinnier than I am, but that's not going to make me question whether I can wear what I want or not.

Day #188

Despite all the positive things that happened friday, the thing I’m going to choose for the positive choices, is taking a step back and relaxing with one of the most important people in my life; my boyfriend. Having dinner at mr Bank in town, we got to talk one on one in a relaxing, cozy setting and actually talk to one another. The food was great, but I enjoyed the company he provided more.

As he works 8 hours per day and both of us have a lot to do each day, we don’t get to spend as much time together as we used to do, which brings both positive and negative things with it. I miss having him around, though I do enjoy the time I actually get to spend with him a lot more.

But no matter who it is, or how much time you get to spend with them, you should always make the most of it, which I think I succeeded in doing today. Although I do look forward to spending more time with him once we get back to Åbo and school starts up again.

Day #189

Saturday turned out interesting. We (me and my boyfriend) planned out this really relaxed day, trying to play some frisbeegolf, enjoying the sun. But our day didn’t turn out like that (not that I’m complaining). Getting the suggestion from two of his friends to go out for a couple of beers, we gladly tagged along into town. These beers turned out to turn into quite the day, beginning with picking up some small snacks from a local grocery store and ending with us playing almost two hours of volleyball on the beach in a much larger group, totaling to about 10 people.

When the playing became too intense, I realised this was the only situation where I’d want to be a man, so that I could be able to play without having my shirt on, without being arrested for it. The weather was amazing, sunny and bright, and our spirits were high when we played until we were forced to give in to exhaustion and the soon late hours of the day.

We also went swimming, or at least about half of us went.The water was warm, but the mosquitoes nearly drove all of us mad, and so the swimming was cut quite short. I’ve missed going swimming, and I hope to be able to go to the beach soon again, despite burning my neck from all the sun.

The Time I Met KAJ

I think this Friday was one of the most interesting days this summer. it started when we went to Norrvalla, which was fun (despite there being almost no people my age there). The best parts were the sunshine, and of course getting to meet the amazing members of KAJ, who has made me laugh since they started out, and the fact that they’re local makes it even more fun. I had heard only positive things about them, and I was not disappointed, at all. I got to meet them, shake hands with them and acutally talk to them (which I still can't completely grasp) thanks to Projekt Liv. They were all amazing, and seemed like some of the kindest people I have ever met. Enjoy this pictures of me and my siblings with the group (look how cute they are! And also, please appreciate the adorableness of my outfit).

After leaving Vörå, I got dropped off in Mysinge and then picked up by my boyfriend, who took me out for pizza. The mentioned pizza was amazing, and the movie afterwards (the new Spiderman movie) was great. It’s been so long since we were on an actual date, both of us being quite busy this summer, and it was so nice to actually do something together as a couple. I love spending time with him no matter the scenario tho, which made the evening even better.

(The review of the movie will also be posted later, since it was already requested and I’m a people pleaser.)

So yeah, Friday was pretty amazing, being able to spend time with people who I care about always makes really happy, and so energized for absolutely everything in life. Positive people are going to make your life positive too!

Day #187

The thing about passion is that not everyone in your life will support you, no matter how hard you try you can’t please everyone. And of course, you’re going to get hurt about what they say about you, no matter what negative energy they bring into your life you’re going to get past it, because if you’re actually passionate about something, you’re going to have to give things up and let go of negative people, because nothing can really hold you back.

I’ve been plagued by negative people, spreading negative energy in my life for quite some time now, and it’s getting more and more easy to get rid of them. I’ve realised that I’m too good to surround myself with people who make me feel worse about myself than I deserve to, and I have no clue why I keep attracting people like these. It’s like I’m just some kind of bad-people-magnet.

But if you think you’re being plagued by the presence of negative people in your life, I strongly give you the advice I used in my life: leave, leave now. But yes, there are people who might not support your choices that you can’t leave just because of that; your kids, your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, sibling, parent or relative. Then it’s more difficult, but you still need to deal with it, and the best thing you can do is ignore the negative things they send into your life.

Surround yourself with positive people, and your life will have positive outcome, it’s just that easy. You shouldn’t listen to negative influences, focus on the positive ones instead, because otherwise the small, non positive things will start to break you down, slowly but surely, and you’ll start to doubt yourself.

And the one thing you should never do, is start to doubt yourself just because of someone else’s insecurities.

Day #186

So remember when I told you guys about how much I was working on all kinds of projects, typing out over 20.000 words per day? Turns out, that was nothing compared to what I’ve done today. I’ve typed almost 2000 words for just the blog posts posted today, and a couple more hundred for the blog posts for tomorrow, my hands are now hurting from all the typing and now I think I’ve actually deserved going to sleep, hopefully well too since last night’s sleep was awful and I’ve been tired all day. But this post is not about complaining about my lack of sleep. I can honestly say I have never been this productive, in anything at all and now I’m suddenly typing for hours.

However, I’ve noticed that this isn’t really one of the favorite things about my creative life. My inspiration goes in waves, such large ones and now I’m currently stuck in one of the really large waves of “holy hell I’m so inspired to stay up all night and write tens of thousands of words on every single project I’ve ever started and I’m so excited!”-like inspiration, after being stuck in an almost endless loop of “oh my God, everything I do creatively sucks and I suck and good Lord, where is my inspiration?!”.

The waves of creative inspiration is a really interesting thing, since sometimes I’m so excited about writing I’ll stay up until five in the morning, typing word after word in an almost trance-like state and sometimes I can’t write a single sentence and I can’t do something about the unforgiving face of a blank sheet of paper staring judgmentally back at me from my computer screen.

I’m really grateful about the inspiration though, but I’m starting to feel like I’m turning into a tiny bit of a workaholic, spending so much time writing that I barely have the time to do anything else during the day.

However, I know this wave of tons of inspiration will pass and I’ll soon be in a calmer state of mind, where I can actually concentrate on other things than my writing and forwarding my creative path. Right now I’m just really grateful to be this inspired and motivated for working.

(Photo sources: The Fresh Quotes & LinkedIn)

The Reason I Dislike 13 Reasons Why

I recently watched the popular series 13 reasons why on Netflix, as I wondered what all the fuss was about. I had heard great things about the show, and it was so popular, I figured this has got to be good. But no way.

As if meant to make fun of depressed people, the show makes crude attempts at showing reality (with very, very little success) by making the main character an overdramatic drama queen, who overreacts to almost everything.

Showing some very sensitive content, the show sometimes has a warning at the beginning of the episodes. As it features both self harm, suicide, and a ton of other things people may find to be hard to discuss, I found myself wondering if this is good or bad. I feel like it could be both. On one hand, the show actually shines some light on depression and the actual signs and what actually happens after someone’s suicide and how many people’s lives you actually touch, but on the other hand it does desensitize the audience for all things related to depression.

In short, I didn’t like the show. Having many people close to me who struggles with depression, and people who have struggled with self harm I found the show to be a very unrealistic portrait of depression and everything close to the disease. I think no one’s disease should be shown in such a way, and there are things that are just downright offensive in the show.

I know that depression, anxiety and other things close to these are very individual, believe me, that’s nothing new to me. Still, taking something as important and close to as many people as a mental issue, blowing it up into an overreacting dramaqueen- stereotype and showing it to all kinds of audiences is in my opinion a really bad decision and should not be done.

The idea of the show was good, but I feel like it would definitely have been a lot better if the main character hadn’t been such a negative stereotype and it would have been a little bit more realistic, with a little less drama and more lifelike feelings and reactions to things happening around the characters on the show.

Still, this tv show wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen, not making me feel “Oh my God, I can’t believe I’ve wasted this much time on this garbage” but not feeling too grateful about the fact that I watched the entire thing. However, the characters beside the main one were terrific, mostly well written.

The New Quote

I have a new favorite quote. Be truthful, gentle and fearless, and I love it. I feel it captures the most important qualities people can have, and what truly makes you a good person in my eyes.

Honesty is the most important one. No matter what, I feel like you should stay honest, I think you should always treat your friends, family and others close to you with the respect of being honest with them. Even if it hurts your feelings, or theirs, I think you should always tell the truth, and you should be respectful enough to not tell them what you actually think or did. The people close to you deserves respect in that way.

Being gentle is one of the things I prioritize the most in myself and my own life. I feel like being kind and gentle is one of the most important qualities in good people, no matter what other things they are. A gentle person doesn’t hurt others, they care about other people and they try to be respectful and loving towards as many people as possible. However, this is something that I actually know I’m failing in more than I’d like to admit. I know, that sometimes I can be a total asshole towards people, more often than not it’s non intended ass-hattery.

Fearless is my personal favorite, and the one I think to work the most on myself. I think I need more work in this part, mostly because I know I sometimes (most times) think too little of myself, feeling like I have no talent, or I’m not good enough in the fields where it is obvious to other people I have skills. I also feel like I need to take more risks, get more odd stories and find some more things that actually challenge me. I sometimes feel like I’m living my life all too safe, not challenging myself nearly enough, even though I do try new things sometimes. I want to experience as much as possible in my short period of living.

I think it’s important for everyone to figure out what kind of person they want to be, and what kind of people they want to be around. Positive people you fit together with, brings you positive spirits and makes your entire life different compared with people you don’t fit in with or spread negative things.

People around you can make or break you, and I feel like everyone should figure out what kind of group you want to spend your time with.

Also, have this shameless selfie of me because I think my makeup looked good in this photo.